Loss and grief are universal human experiences, transcending culture, age, and circumstance. Whether you’re mourning the passing of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or even the loss of your old self, the journey through grief is often challenging and transformative.
In this post, we’ll explore the depths of grief and loss and provide practical advice on how to navigate these complex emotions.
The Many Faces of Grief
Grief doesn’t always manifest as the loss of a person. It can also be the mourning of a relationship, loss of a job, or the person you once were. My own experience with postpartum depression was a profound form of grief, as I mourned the woman I used to be before becoming a mother. I felt lost, disconnected, and overwhelmed. Much of my identity had been so intertwined with my career and personal aspirations, that their absence left me questioning my very existence.
I’d look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back at me. It truly felt like I had died. It took a long journey of transformation and healing to pull myself out of the abyss of grief.
Acceptance: The First Step
Grief begins with the painful acknowledgment of loss. It’s essential to let yourself feel the emotions without judgment. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – these are the stages described by experts, but they don’t necessarily follow a linear path. You could be in the depression stage today, and end up going right back to the anger stage tomorrow. Everyone mourns differently, so It’s vital to honor your unique process.
Also, acceptance doesn’t mean your grief is over. Dare I say; as hard as it is, it’s just the first step in your healing journey. But after this step it gets better a little more each day I promise.
Embracing Your Emotions
Grief is a natural response to loss, and suppressing it can be detrimental. You must allow yourself to feel all the unpleasant emotions and pain, even when they seem conflicting or illogical. The more you try to ignore, deny or hide from them, then stronger they’ll feel.
In my case, I had to acknowledge my postpartum depression, understand that it was ok to mourn the loss of my old self, and allow myself to feel the sadness. I expected to feel nothing but happiness… I had a perfectly healthy baby, I didn’t develop any complications, and I had the best support system one could ask for. It made no sense to me that I’d be greiving at such a joyous period of my life.
Maybe you too feel as though (for whatever reason) you have no right to mourn. You do. Give yourself permission to feel those emotions, but don’t let them overwhelm or overshadow you. The key is to let them pass through but not linger.
Dealing with grief requires self-compassion and patience. Understand that healing is a process, and it’s okay to have setbacks. Recovery takes time.
Seeking Support/Help
Sometimes, dealing with these emotions is something we just can’t do alone. It’s ok to ask for help. Seeking help and support is a sign of strength that is an essential part of healing. Whether it’s a support group, a therapist, or confiding in a loved one, finding your support system is critical.
In my case, I leaned on friends, family, and aromatherapy to help me navigate the complexities of my depression and grief.
Rebuilding and Moving Forward
During the darkest moments of my postpartum depression, I felt as if I was lost forever. But as time passed, I realized that I could rediscover and rebuild myself. Now, I look back and realize that I wouldn’t even want to live life any other way. It’s crucial to remember that, even in the face of significant loss, new (and sometimes, better) beginnings are possible.
They say energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. This understanding can be a source of comfort when dealing with grief. The loved one you’re mourning… the relationship… the life you once had… all that love and essence of what you’ve lost still exist within you, albeit in a different form or expression. Recognize and find that new form.
Grief and loss are transformative experiences. They challenge us, change us, and ultimately, make us stronger. For me, I emerged from postpartum depression with a newfound resilience, a greater appreciation for life, a deeper understanding of myself, and an identity based on my essence at my core, instead of being based on my career or in regards to my relationship with others.
Conclusion
Dealing with loss and grief is never easy, but it’s a journey that can lead to personal growth and healing. Whatever form your grief manifests itself in, the path to recovery is marked by self-compassion, patience, and the support of others. Remember, you can find strength and resilience in the midst of grief, and with time, you can move forward into a brighter future.
